You’re 30. Why don’t you have a kid?

 

The clock turns to midnight and you blow out the candles on you’re surprise 30th birthday cake in crazy, vivacious Las Vegas. You can almost see your 20’s dissipate and fade away like the smoke from those candles. The care-free “It’s ok to party and not have your life completely together” chapter is turned and you land on chapter “You’re 30. Where’s your house and kid?” Suddenly the sense of urgency is upon you. Not because thats what you want, but because everyone around you is either questioning, hinting, or popping out kids and getting hitched themselves. You’ve heard the statistics a million times before about higher percentages of birth defects and increased risk of labor problems after the age of 35. Now you’re doing the math. “Ok, if I find a guy in the next year, stay with him for a year, get married, get knocked up within the first year of marriage, add 9 months…”

Shit. How did I go from “popping bottles” in Las Vegas to doing pregnancy algebra? Well, screw that. At the end of the day, I’ve never been one to follow traditions, society’s ideas of “normal” or even follow many rules. So why the hell am I stressing about kids now? Truth is, I’m NOT. Besides the fact that I would NEVER do something just to make the people around me happy, unless it was something I truly wanted; I’ve got things to do, places to see, people to meet, life to live and epic fights to fight.

Worst case scenario, I turn 40 and reach that borderline age of whether or not to procreate but theres still no Mr.Right in my life. Or maybe Mr.Right and I are still kicking ass in life but we’re too busy or think It’s too risky to try to have a child. Why not adopt? In my opinion, adoption may be one of the most beautiful things someone can do. Taking an abandoned child and making them your family is an unmeasurable amazing act of kindness and love.There seems to be some deep rooted & subconscious mandate that an obligation of life is to grow up and have a child of you’re own. The need to pass down the bloodline seems much more important to most than the idea of saving a life already born. Whether society fueled or subconscious narcissism (wanting to see your own genetic features in another human) I think that adoption is a perfectly fine choice. But thats just my opinion.

And who’s to say that each woman on this earth needs to bear a child? What about over population? There is such a stigma surrounding the idea of being a childless woman. Can’t two people love each other and grow old without raising children? Besides over population, the financial burden a couple is weighed down by seems to be taxing not only on the wallet but potentially, the relationship as well. Statistically, most arguments in relationships stem from financial burdens. There is a chance that the memories, experiences and love that comes from a child is enough to negate all money troubles, but in considering the pros and cons of starting a family, one must factor in all of this.

At the end of the day, I will not be rushed nor peer pressure into anything in my life, let alone creating another human life. Love isn’t meant to be planned. Things happen at the right time. I have all the faith in the world that what is supposed to be, will be.

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3 thoughts on “You’re 30. Why don’t you have a kid?

  1. Well said! You are a beautiful strong woman with many accomplishments that others only dream about. As we continue to be reminded, life is lived one day at a time. The journey is different for many. There is no right or wrong in the choices we make to marry or remain single, have children, adopt or be a single parent. Live life to its fullest, do good to others, find your joy and don’t let anyone steal it from you!

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  2. My wife and I adopted two beautiful girls at birth and couldn’t be happier. Do what’s best for you and not the status norm. Can’t wait till your next fight. The Killa Amigas. Ashlee/Carla/Felice

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